Way More Than Over 9000

Indestructible As this creature enters, choose a player. Whenever this creature is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to the chosen player. : This creature deals 1 damage to itself.

Shivan Meteor deals 13 damage to target creature. Suspend 2— (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay and exile it with two time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.)

: The next 1 damage that would be dealt to this creature this turn is dealt to its owner instead. Only this creature's owner may activate this ability. When this creature dies, its owner loses half their life, rounded up.

If a source would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals double that damage to that permanent or player instead.

Enchant creature All damage that would be dealt to you is dealt to enchanted creature instead.